3-27-12

This has been the most humbling week for me of my entire life.... We had to drop an entire village because they all just fell off the edge of the world.  One of our best investigators who we thought was doing great- we caught gambling with a cig in one hand and a beer in the other...  Then we found out that there are a lot of problems in the area.  We were deep in prayer one evening and both had the feeling that it is time to move on to people who want us there and that want God in their life!  It was really, really hard to leave the area for the last time after working so hard there for the last month or two.  My language has taken like three big jumps backwards also.  I haven't been able to put 2 and 2 together worth anything and have had people laugh at me and others just tell me to stop talking and just let my companion talk... That is really hard to hear because of how much work I have been putting into learning their language. I got a little hurt and sad to say just gave up for the last two days of the week... I am not at all proud to say that I gave up.  Tears welled up in my eyes for the first time on my mission and I hit my knees and told God that I didn't want to do this anymore. Then all of a sudden I heard Dads voice telling me what he always would if I wanted to quit something.  Ha I could almost even see him standing there (looking up at me =P) and he said Mackay, you have never been a quitter! And I'm not going to let you start now.  I had a very peaceful feeling that everyone at home will be taken care of and that Grandpa and Grandma are going to be taken care of till I get home and can start taken care of them again!!!  I'll get to mow the yard and spend time with them again soon enough, but dad told me that two years is a very short time and I better not waste it cause if I quit this I'm going to quit everything else that I ever do in life and that is not me.  I got off my knees and realized that the rain storm had gotten to me and that I was soaked!  haha so worth it.  God really has a plan for us and he knows what he needs to do to get us going!  


 After I got back into the house and took my ice cold shower with a bucket and a bar of soap haha I started praying again and I rededicated myself to my work.  But not even my work to Gods work!  And come Monday and Tuesday I had a great few days.  God challenges his people so that they remember him!  If we will just always remember that we are nothing and that God has control over everything we are going to be fine!  Let God Direct our lives and we will always be safe and protected!  I love this Gospel!  I love the hard times!  I love the fact that God breaks us down and then builds us stronger.  I have gained more knowledge and an even greater testimony then I thought I ever would here in the mission field!  I have no doubt in my mind that the church is true.  I have had conversations with other churches that ask why we don't do this or why our church does that and it feels great to be able to pull out a scripture to back up why we do what we do!  If people would just pray and read their scriptures and ask with real intent if the Book of Mormon is true they would be able to find out for themselves!  They wouldn't even need missionaries.  But I'm so glad that they do because as I look at myself in the mirror every morning I see a difference.  I have yet to wake up and see the same person I saw the morning before.  God is molding me and everyone into the people that he wants us to be. Some times it just takes stepping back and looking.  God will make you who he wants you to be!  He knows exactly where you need to get to in life and he is going to get you there.  There may be obstacles or challenges. There may be worms in your system that make you sick.  There may be physical pain or mental pains.  But he will always get you through it and make you the person that you need to be.  Make it easier on him though.  Do what he asks!  Do what is taught in the scriptures!  And then just sit back and enjoy the journey and watch yourself mold into the man and women that we are all meantcigs or beer.  Give up the music or the movies that are dulling your senses.  Be the God that you have been called to be!  Thank you every single one of you for the lessons and the things you have taught me.  I don't care who is reading this letter, somewhere down the road you have taught me something and you have helped turn me into the man that I have become.  I cannot wait to be able to return home and to hug my sister who is working every day also to become the Women that she has been called to be and for the two of us side by side to be able to share stories and to share testimonies with each and every one of you!  I hope that you can feel of the power and authority that we are able to speak with.  That is because God calls missionaries to be bold and to bring the world his Gospel and to carry his sons name on a badge for two years!  I dread the day when that badge will no longer be on my chest. But I realize that you don't have to be a missionary to bare Christ's name!  We all can have the light of Christ in our eyes and we all can live our lives in a way that he would today! I love you all and pray for you every day.  May God bless your lives and keep you safe. Please continue to pray for the missionaries!  Haha we need it!  God loves you!  God wants the best for you!  Become the people that we want you to be then sit back and enjoy the journey!

Love
Elder Shelley